A Lesson on Perspective

Today was decorate-the-gingerbread-houses-at-school-day. I volunteered to help with this because my girl was just a bit nervous about knowing which ingredients she could/could not have and after I went to the classroom and the mess of icing and candy pieces began to escalate, I was so glad I had gone. My girl was so excited to be elbow deep in bright colored candies and I was glad I could be there to monitor the situation. Thankfully, the decorating went off without a hitch and all the kiddos had a blast. I enjoyed being there with those kids who are all so very different from each other, but wonderful and special in their own ways. (Even though, I might have been dreading the mess!!) When I picked up my girls from school this afternoon, C had her gingerbread house in tow and she was greatly looking forward to getting home and eating some of that house. It seemed she had forgotten all about our little discussion about how it was not something she could eat because of the icing that contains egg whites. So, when I gently reminded her of that, there was a major emotional breakdown. This is really the first time she's ever gotten so upset (outwardly) about her allergies. Mega tears were flowing in the backseat from the sheer disappointment of not being able to eat such a beautiful and visually appealing treat that she worked so hard on. I let her vent her frustration for a second and then asked her, "Does God make mistakes?" Of course, her answer was NO. And then I asked her, "Did he make a mistake by allowing you to have food allergies?" Her answer, at first, was yes and then we talked about how God cannot make a mistake - never has and never will. He allows everything in our lives for a reason....even things we don't think are right for us. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that ALL THINGS work together for good to them that love God...according to His purpose." Even a 6 year old can begin to understand that God knows what's best for us and always has our best interest at heart. And while the tears were pouring and the sobbing was in full force, I sat there in the driver's seat praying she will one day outgrow these allergies, but also wondering what else I could say to help her put this in perspective. Then, I pulled off my exit and sat at a red light where homeless people are almost always standing begging for money or food and I could see just enough under the bridge to see others taking shelter there. I pointed them out to my children and showed them what they had never noticed before. There are real people all around us who have no food or home. When put in perspective, food allergies seem so much less of a burden. The fact is, the focus doesn't need to be on what we can't have, but what we already have that, quite frankly, we don't deserve. God has blessed us exceeding abundantly above all that we could ask for or imagine {Eph 3:20} and THAT is what we can be thankful for.

Don't Just Survive the Holidays {and Holiday Foods}...THRIVE!

Christmas is rapidly approaching and with this time of year come lots of Christmas parties and get-togethers with the main attraction being FOOD! Just in the next 7 days, my girl has an event involving popcorn, two Christmas parties at church and school and the traditional (and somewhat dreadful) gingerbread house building at school. All of those things involve food and most of them are foods that are very risky to her health. At this point, I can do one of two things. 1) Avoid it altogether and have her feel isolated and feed her fear of being around those things or 2) Do everything in my power to know what foods will be at what event and make alternatives for her to bring with her so that she can participate like a normal child and teach her to thrive in her environment regardless of food allergies. I'm choosing to do the latter. Her whole life we have been striving to maintain a sense of normalcy for this girl and show her that while she does have potentially life-threatening food allergies, it is possible to be able to enjoy every event and situation involving food. Our 'normal' isn't the same as everyone else's 'normal', but we do our best to help her blend in and thrive. It's very important to us to teach her that while it is absolutely necessary for her to avoid certain foods, she can have just as much fun as everyone else and not be afraid.

So, here are some practical tips for surviving the wonderful holidays and all the food that comes with it!

1. MAKE A LIST AND CHECK IT TWICE. Compile a list of all the parties/events that your child will be a part of and make a detailed list of each menu. Mark the items that he/she can have and then make allergy-free substitutes for those items which he/she cannot have. If your child is old enough to understand, then go over the lists with him so he is aware of all the substitutes.

2. GIVE STUFF! Volunteer to bring items for school parties/church parties and sign up to bring items like cupcakes or cookies (or whatever your child cannot have) and bring an allergy-free type for the whole class. There are some things like graham crackers that my child can only eat certain brands of, so in that case, bring only that brand or ask the teacher if she can specifically request certain brands to be brought.

3. GIVE TIME! Volunteer to help at the parties so that you can monitor the food situation. My child is old enough to know certain things that she can/cannot have, but I know that she is much more comfortable to partake if I am there. When she doesn't know if an item is okay, she will just refrain from eating it. I know some kids may not have that kind of self control, but your child might.

4. HAVE A LITTLE CHAT! Communicate with the teacher(s) as the time draws near for the party/event to remind her of your child's specific needs. Send a note in on that day, as well, reminding her. You can also have your child wear allergy alert jewelry or a sticker/pin stating his/her allergies so that even volunteers can be on alert. My girl will be wearing her necklace on the days of her parties/events.

5. LAST BUT NOT LEAST! In case of gingerbread house building, find out the exact ingredients that will be there and deal with it appropriately. The 'glue' that my girl's teacher is using to stick the house together has meringue powder in it and that is an absolute no-no for my sweet girl. So, we are going to have her use gloves while putting these houses together. And then I have checked into all the ingredients and sent in some of the ones where my girl needs specific brands. After all that, we know of one ingredient that she cannot partake of and she is aware of it. So, she's feeling pretty excited about building herself a little gingerbread house with the rest of her class. And I have to say that this momma is at peace with it and looking forward to seeing what my artistic girl comes up with!

I'm planning to post a few Christmas recipes coming in the next few days, so stay tuned! And I have some plans in the works for the new year on this blog! Exciting days ahead!

Back to School with Food Allergies

Sorry for the absence from the blog lately. My girls started school last week and I have been busy getting back into the whole routine of school in general and then adding to that the adventure of introducing my child's food allergies to her new teachers at her new school. My brain was on overload last week, but I'm back and hope to post a few new things this week!

We started the school year off with a student in my daughter's class bringing cupcakes for his birthday. To say I wasn't prepared for that is an understatement. Thankfully, her teacher called me the night before and warned me so that I had time to get her an alternative special treat. I didn't have time to make allergy-free cupcakes, so I checked with my girl and she said Tofutti brand Ice Cream sandwiches would be fine with her. (Thankfully, her class has a full-sized refrigerator and I can store snacks like that there.) It is hard for me to see her have to cope with being so cautious all the time about food, but God has given her an extra measure of grace to handle it. She amazes me. At almost 6 years old, she handles it extremely well and that makes me proud. I know that it is hard for her to always have a different snack than everyone else and she even declined a snack her second day just because she didn't want to be different from everyone else. I had to choke back tears when she told me that, but it gave me the opportunity to explain to her that God made her very special. Psalm 139:14 says, "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works and that my soul knoweth right well." The fact is God doesn't make mistakes. Every person has something they have to deal with, hers just happens to be food allergies. But everything God allows in our lives is just a learning experience in our path to becoming more like Him. Through food allergies, "C" has experienced God's protection many times and she has experienced God's love and comfort when the day has been emotionally tough. It's hard to be thankful for something that is so dangerous and scary, but the lessons we have learned from living with food allergies have been {and continue to be} good and for that we can be thankful.

We are also very thankful for our girls' teachers this year. I hope all of you have great teachers who are willing to communicate with you and work with your child's food allergies. I pray they will have great compassion for your child, as well. Good luck with a new year!

Is your Child Starting Kindergarten with Food Allergies?

Then, you might want to read my post at 24/7 Moms today! It's all about sending your food allergic child off to school and some things to think about. I will have more on this subject over the next few weeks....Until then, check out my featured post! And while you're there, you might like to see what other helpful and interesting articles are featured on 24/7 Moms!

Tips for Helping Your Child Live a 'Normal' Life

I notice the look of hope on my daughter's face when I am checking the ingredient list on certain foods that look appealing to her. And, unfortunately, I have seen the look of disappointment when she learns she cannot have that food. I have seen her eyes light up when I have found a new treat for her and I've seen how happy she is when she realizes she can eat something that her older sister gets to eat. As a mother, I want her to be able to eat everything that her peers are eating, but I know that is not possible. It breaks my heart to have to tell her that some of these very mouth-watering foods could be very hurtful to her, but I do it because I love her. And because of this, I have come up with some things to help her feel like she's 'normal'. I hope that these tips will be of benefit to you or at least get your creative juices flowing! And if you have any great tips, please leave a comment on here. I welcome your input.

• Desserts - I have come to the point that I just like to have desserts on hand that my daughter enjoys and can eat. Not only can she eat them, but they are very similar to the desserts the rest of us eat - taste and appearance! This has been fun for me. Some are simple, some time-consuming, but they are ALL worth every minute of time and effort! The smile on my child's face makes it all worth it. You've got to find what works for you. One of my favorites: Cherrybrook Kitchen cake and cookie mixes! Check them out! They are free of nuts, dairy, egg, and peanut - even gluten!
• Ready-made snacks - These type of snacks I like to keep on hand for traveling, picnics and carrying in her bag to church or friends' houses. Most of the fruit snacks available in grocery stores are fine for my child's needs, but for variety, I buy other sweets on occasion. My favorite cookie - Back to Nature! Try the chocolate creme! Yummy! I can get these at Whole Foods and Publix. Look for the buy one get one free sales on these!
• Peanut Butter - My daughter is allergic to peanuts, so I have found a good alternative to peanut butter. One is Soy Butter - sold at most grocery stores - It's more oily, but spreads nice like real peanut butter and my daughter likes it. If you are allergic to soy, though, try Sun Butter. I've tried Sun Butter - made from sunflower seeds, but it has a big aftertaste that neither I nor my daughter can handle. If you really like sunflower seeds, you'll like Sun Butter. Who doesn't love a PB&J? Now we have a good alternative!
• Baked goods - if you're into making baked goods from scratch, but have an egg allergy, today is your lucky day! Try Ener-G Egg Replacer (affordable and it works!) for a lot of your recipes. As with any alternative, you may have to tweak your recipe to see what works for you, but this works well in a lot of baked goods. Find it at Whole Foods.

A few tips -

• Make a batch of cupcakes out of the allergy-free mix and freeze them individually. Keep some frosting on hand, as well. Then, when you need a quick dessert or your child is heading to a birthday party, grab one out of the freezer, thaw it, frost it and you're on your way.
• Make a batch of cookies and freeze them in pairs to do the same thing. Or just keep a couple of cookie mixes on hand. They don't take long to mix and bake and you'll always be ready for that last minute invitation to someone's home or outing where you'll need a special dessert for your child.
• Experiment and come up with your own quick fixes. Not only will you be happy that your child has something special to eat like everyone else, but you'll have the satisfaction that you came up with it on your own! I've come up with a few that my daughter really likes and I love knowing that I've made something yummy especially with her in mind...and one that my entire family can enjoy together!